A Sunnah Wedding

Attendants and musicians are all female at this sunnah wedding.

A young woman was marrying a young man from a strict religious family. The wedding was to be a sunnah wedding, following the separation of men and women. No music. The ceremony was held on the roof of the house, thereby ensuring no univited women or men could can access or view the bride, even momentarily. So I was prepared to have to sit around and listen to all the female family members talk about people and events that I knew nothing about and wasn't going to understand. I was prepared to have to get through an evening of absolute boredom. Have stoic face, will travel.

When I get to the home, some people are women are sitting around talking, some are bustling about, some are in another room changing into their formal wedding finery. When we go up to the roof, I discover nearly the entire roof has been covered over with a huge tent. The sides of the tent are plastered somehow to the 5 ft walls of that surround the rooftop. There are two poles, with lights attached, holding up the tent roof about 20 ft above our heads. The tent provides privacy from the street below and the surrounding roofs, as well as protection from the late afternoon sun. Roughly 80 chairs are set up to face the white and silver sofa-length bride's throne that rests on a white dais. There is a low table and 6 chairs place to the left and between the throne and the rows of chairs.

About 25 feet down on the right from the door to the rooftop, there is a second and third door, each opening to, surprisingly, another room with couches and several women are sitting in there. It is the first time I've seen a room set on rooftop. I can imagine that in the hot summer nights, with the two doors open to allow good airflow, it's nice to sleep up here comfortably on the couches that go around 3 walls of the room. For the wedding,though, this room has another use. Tonight it is the changing room for the bride and all of her outfits.

I am curious about the single table up on the rooftop, and then 6 women come in a sit there. Special family members for some reason? VIP's of some sort? They start pulling out small drums that are held in the hands, somewhat larger and deeper than tambourines. And one is sort of bongo shaped, except it tapers in and out like a waist. (Sorry, I don't know the names for these different kind of drums.)  It was then I realized the music ban is on string and reed instruments, not the traditional drums. They start to sing when they are interrupted by the bride's brothers who are bringing up--what is this--a sound system? They hook up 2 enourmous speakers on 8 ft high stands, and fiddle with the electronics board while they do a sound check with the performers on all 4 microphones. Wow.

For the next four hours, the performer sing nasheed, religious songs about Allah and the Prophet Muhammad. Intersperced with these are wedding songs for the bride. And surprisingly, they all have a beat you can dance to. Another 20 or so chairs are set up for the last arriving guests, then all the chair are moved closer together to make room for the dancing. The guest frequently join in the singing as the songs are well-known to all. Women family members make countless trips up and down the stairs bringing trays of tea, coffee, and small plates of patries/cookies/sweets for each guest.

The bride changes clothes several times.  Her wedding dresses are white, red, green, a gorgeous, deep royal purple, and white again.  The first white dress is a Moroccan takshita with a wide belt, the last dress she appears in is an American-style wedding dress with veil.  She gets henna applied in front of all, and everyone takes photos with her. She has the "boat" on which she is seated, then lifted high by women attendants while guests throw flower petals. Downstairs, we eat in shifts, two dozen at a time at table set up in the living room.  Roast chicken, beef, bread,  a variety of fruit, soda.

The men? The groom? Oh, the bride's family had a luncheon for them earlier in the day.